Strikeforce Presents: Rousey vs. Kaufman is coming up on Saturday. In a completely Strikeforcian move, Miesha Tate vs. Julie Kedzie is not going to be on the main card, but on the prelims, which are broadcast on Showtime Extreme, which is a channel that twelve people have. Out of protest, I'm only going to be covering the main card, which should start on regular Showtime at 10PM ET (I'm watching the prelims, though, because luckily enough I do get ShoXtreme, hooray).
Ovince “OSP” St. Preux vs. TJ Cook
- St. Preux’s Style – Football, wrestling
- Cook’s Style – Striking
- Prediction – St. Preux grounds and pounds his way to a stoppage.
- Thoughts – OSP needs to get back to fighting at least five times in two months, that’s when he had his most success.
Lumumba “Heavy Hands” Sayers vs. Anthony “Lionheart” Smith
- Sayers’s Style – Submissions
- Smith’s Style – Striking AND Grappling
- Prediction – Sayers will hit Smith very hard and win with a submission, probably due to strikes.
- Thoughts – I like that Sayers’s nickname doesn’t reflect how he finishes fights. It would be like if Miesha “Takedown” Tate just threw crazy Tae Kwon Do and Capoeira spinning, flying kicks.
Tarec “Sponge” Saffiedine vs. Roger “Relentless” Bowling
- Saffiedine’s Style – Karate
- Bowling’s Style – Freestyle, Picking up Spares
- Prediction – Bowling wins by knockout. Bowling gets the nod because he beat up Neo-Nazi jerk-hole Brandon Saling, and also Saffiedine fought Scott Smith to a decision, which is disappointing because at least one person is supposed to get knocked out in a Scott Smith fight.
- Thoughts – I can’t think of a good bowling pun. Wait, I bet Roger doesn’t want to win a SPLIT decision! That was terrible, I am terrible.
Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza vs. Derek “the Human Blanket” Brunson
- Souza’s Style – BJJ
- Brunson’s Style – Wrestling, poker (Oh, wait, wrong Brunson)
- Prediction – Souza wins via submission because he is an alligator-man, and that’s pretty cool.
- Thoughts – I hope Souza wins, especially by submission, because I love seeing him do his alligator/caiman chomp.
“Rowdy” Ronda Rousey vs. Sarah Kaufman
- Rousey’s Style – Judo
- Kaufman’s Style – Boxing
- Prediction – Ronda wins with her standard judo throw, armbar combo.
- Thoughts – I’m really fluctuating on if I like Ronda or not. She’ll do something kind of dumb, like that YouTube video and I think “Please just do fights”, but then she’ll have a good interview on Conan, or say she doesn’t care if Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos injects horse semen into her eyes, just make 135 and the fight is on, and I think “Okay, that’s pretty cool”. I think Kaufman is in trouble because her only loss was by armbar, she was in danger of getting armbarred by Davis in her last fight, and as everyone knows, all Rousey does is take arms home with her.