Sunday, April 28, 2013

Technique Appreciation Station - German suplex

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that's never met an opponent it didn't try to duck.

Well lookie here, a new article category that I'm sure will be used once or twice and then forgotten or ignored! This time, instead of talking about dudes what do cool moves, I'm just going to focus on cool moves done by a bunch of different guys, because screw analysis, let's just look at GIFs!

There are a lot of different grappling arts at play in mixed martial arts, and since every fight starts standing (Wheelchair karate bouts notwithstanding), they all include various methods of getting an opponent to the ground. The cooler arts include throws, because the ancient masters knew that hucking some dorkus through the air and onto his face looked pretty sweet. Wrestling has some exceptional throws, which makes sense since it was devloped initially by thick-necked farmhands as a means of transporting livestock. The raddest of all wrestling throws is the suplex, and at the top of the suplex list is the German variant (Or belly to back if you want to be a lame pedant about things)

Soup-Flex, You Say? Do Go On!

First of all, this ain't no portmanteau, it's a dang suplex, so get it right, or pay the price. Second of all, fake dumb reader I constantly berate, I think we should watch a brief tutorial on how to properly suplex some jamoke out his (Or her!) shoes.

Now that proper suplexery has been explained to us, it's time to see the German in action for real. Check out a plethora of GIFs and videos after the jump because I don't want to explode anyone's browsers or however that works.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Event Primer: UFC 159 - Jones vs Sonnen

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that has a mauve belt in Ameri-Do-Te but no slacks that match.
Preliminary Fights (Facebook/YouTube)
Featherweight - Steven "Miller Killer" Siler vs Kurt Holobaugh
  • Siler's Style - Submissions
  • Holobaugh's Style -Striking
  • Alternate Holobaugh Nickname - Kurt "Ain't No" Holobaugh "Girl"
  • Prediction -Siler by submission
Welterweight - Nick "The Jersey Devil" Catone vs James Head
  • Catone's Style - Wrestling, BJJ
  • Head's Style - Striking, BJJ
  • Prediction - Catone by decision
Featherweight - Leonard "Bad Boy" Garcia vs Cody "AK Kid" McKenzie
  • Garcia's Style - Brawling, clubbering, decision theft
  • McKenzie's Style - McKenzietine
  • Prediction - McKenzie by McKenzietine
  • Thoughts - Shit's gonna get real!
Preliminary Fights (FX)
Lightweight - Rustam "Tiger" Khabilov vs Yancy "Frisson" Medeiros
  • Khabilov's Style - Suplex
  • Alternate Khabilov Nickname - Rustam "Hobby Lobby" Khabilov
  • Medeiros's Style - Striking, wrestling
  • Prediction - Khabilov by suplex-related KO
Women's Bantamweight - Sara McMann vs Sheila "The German Tank" Gaff
  • McMann's Style - Wrestling
  • Gaff's Style - Striking
  • Prediction - McMann by decision
  • Thoughts - Holy cow, Sara McMann is friggin SHREDDED
Light Heavyweight - Gian Villante vs Ovince "OSP" St. Preux
  • Villante's Style - Football, wrestling
  • Unofficial Villante Nickname - Gian "John" Villante
  • St. Preux's Style - Football, wrestling
  • Prediction - St. Preux by KO
  • Thoughts - Strikeforce vs Strikeforce match-up! Hofstra football vs Tennessee football match-up! The storylines run deep on this fight! Also, I hope St. Preux wins and then takes another fight in two weeks and then again two weeks after that, like he did towards the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011, because that was the best OSP.
Bantamweight - "Brutal" Johnny Bedford vs Bryan "Kid Lightning" Caraway
  • Bedford's Style - Wrestling, BJJ
  • Caraway's Style - Cruising, having a more famous and better fighter for a girlfriend, threatening to beat up his girlfriend's opponents (Oh, wait, this is the "Fighting Style" section, not "Reasons to laugh at Bryan Caraway" section).
  • Prediction - Bedford by KO
Main Card (PPV)
Lightweight - Jim Miller vs Pat "Bam Bam" Healy
  • Miller's Style - Grappling
  • Healy's Style - Grappling
  • Prediction - Miller by submission
  • Thoughts - Holy rigatoni, this fight is going to be nutso good (I hope)!
Light Heavyweight - Vinny "Pezao" Magalhaes vs Phil "Mr. Wonderful" Davis
  • Magalhaes's Style - BJJ
  • Davis's Style - Wrestling, grappling
  • Alternate Davis Nicknames - Phil "Body Triangle" Davis; Phil "Have I Told You My Nickname Comes From My Missing Or Stolen College Cat?" Davis
  • Prediction - Davis by decision
  • Thoughts - Poor Phil Davis, being partially associated with unfortunate people or entities. First the dude is a Penn State alumnus, and then he's a Lloyd Irvin student.
Heavyweight - Roy "Big Country" Nelson vs Chieck Kongo
  • Nelson's Style - Boxing, BJJ, incredible intestinal fortitude (Also known as havin' tons o' guts)
  • Kongo's Style - Savate
  • Alternate Kongo Nickname - "Cup" Chieck Kongo
  • Prediction - Nelson by KO
  • Thoughts - They say styles make fights, and there isn't a better juxtaposition in body styles than this fight.
Middleweight - Michael "The Count" Bisping vs Alan "The Talent" Belcher
  • Bisping's Style - Kickboxing, British wrestling
  • Alternate Bisping Nicknames - Michael "The Count, Minus the O" Bisping
  • Belcher's Style - Muay Thai, BJJ
  • Prediction - Belcher by TKO
  • Thoughts - These two gents either for reals don't like each other, or are cleaning up in the wolf ticket department.
Light Heavyweight Title - Jon "Bones" Jones vs "The American Gangster" Chael P. Sonnen
  • Jones's Style - Wrestling, striking (poles)
  • Alternate Jones Nicknames - Jon "Snitchster Christian" Jones, Jon "Snowball King" Jones
  • Sonnen's Style - Wrestling, fraud
  • Prediction - Jones by TKO
  • Fantasty-Land Prediction - Chael P. Sonnen by submission (Omoplata)
  • Thoughts - I like Sonnen, both as a bloviating so-and-so, and also as a head down, driving forward fighter, but I think Jones is just too good to get wrestled upon for twenty-five minutes, which I see as Chael's only avenue for victory. Sorry, Chael, but you're pretty great at analysis, and hopefully soon, commentary.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Fantastic Finishes - Overeem vs Fujita

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that's more ridiculous than the average Jonathan Goulet haircut.

Today on Fantastic Finishes, we take a look back at the time Alistair Overeem's foray into fighting large-headed monsters didn't end with him getting murdered via hubris (Of course, it helps that Fujita is about five hojillion times worse at the mixing of martial arts than Antonio Silva).

Alistair Overeem vs. Kazuyuki Fujita - Dynamite!! 2009 (December 31, 2009)

Who Are These Dorks?

Alistair Overeem is a Dutch kickboxer that packed on an entire Demetrious Johnson worth of muscle in about two years, allegeldy through a steady diet of horse meats. His knees are so powerful, they have been known to shakedown the Tunguska event for its lunch money.

Kazuyuki Fujita is a Japanese (pro) wrestler born with Homer Simpson Syndrome, otherwise known as a slightly thicker than average skull. He's used this X-gene to absorb his opponents' punishment and gently nudge their exhausted bodies over for glorious knockouts (technically) (Or, in the case of Ken Shamrock, force a heart attack).

Why Is This Fight Special?

In all his history as a punching bag, Fujita had never gone entirely unconscious. He had several TKO stoppages on his record, but they were either from cuts, his corner calling off the fight two seconds in thanks to injuries, or, in the case of his bout against Wanderlei Silva, Fujita was on his way back to his feet (For I believe the sixtieth time) when the ref waved off the contest.

Against Overeem, though, Fujita went out entirely. In fact, he went super out, so much that Overeem ran into Fujita being taken to the hospital on a stretcher in the back of the arena. Fujita went so unconscious, I don't believe he retired from MMA so much as he just hasn't woken up yet.

What Did We Learn?

  • Alistair Overeem's knees will murder your brain so hard your parents will forget you ever existed
  • A person needs more than a thick candy shell around their head to be a successful mixed martial artist
  • Knee Death claims another victim, having previously stopped a man's heart, and later, drained a man of all his head-blood.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Event Primer: UFC on Fox - Henderson vs Melendez

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that holds a candlelight vigil every night, hoping that Chad Griggs and his muttonchops return to the octagon soon.

Preliminary Card (Facebook/YouTube)

Middleweight - Clifford Starks vs Yoel "Soldier of God" Romero
  • Starks's Style - Wrestling
  • Romero's Style - Wrestling
  • Prediction -  Romero by TKO
  • Thoughts - Yoel Romero pulled off the best ankle pick in the history of takedowns.

Lightweight - Anthony "The Assassin" Njokuani vs "Relentless" Roger Bowling
  • Njokuani's Style -Striking
  • Bowling's Style - Wrestling, striking
  • Prediction -  Njokuani by KO
  • Thoughts - Remember that time Njokuani head kicked a fleeing Chris Horodecki? That was hilarious, mostly because Horodecki looks like he's twelve years old, and there isn't anything funnier than a child taking a head kick.

Bantamweight - TJ Dillashaw vs Hugo "Wolverine" Viana
  • Dillashaw's Style - Wrestling
  • Viana's Style - Boxing
  • Prediction -  Dillashaw by submission

Preliminary Card (FX)

Lightweight - Tim "The Dirty Bird" Means vs Jorge "Gamebred" Masvidal
  • Means's Style - Striking
  • Masvidal's Style - Muay Thai
  • Prediction -  Masvidal by KO

Flyweight - Joseph "Joe B-Wan Kenobi" Benavidez vs Darren "BC" Uyenoyama
  • Benavidez's Style - Grappling, Joe-Jitsu
  • Uyenoyama's Style - Grappling
  • Prediction -  Benavidez by Joe-mission

Lightweight - Ramsey Nijem vs Myles "Fury" Jury
  • Nijem's Style - Grappling
  • Jury's Style - Kickboxing, BJJ
  • Prediction -  Jury by submission

Middleweight - Francis "Limitless" Carmont vs Lorenz "The Monsoon" Larkin
  • Carmont's Style - Grappling, stealing decisions from Tom Lawlor
  • Larkin's Style - Striking
  • Prediction -  Larkin by TKO

Featherweight - Chad "Money" Mendes vs Darren "The Damage" Elkins
  • Mendes's Style - Wrestling
  • Elkins's Style - Wrestling
  • Prediction - Elkins by decision
  • Thoughts - Mendes is the highest Team Alpha Male on the card, so he gets the traditional TAM video link.

Main Card (Fox)

Welterweight - Jordan "Young Gun" Mein vs Matt "The Immortal" Brown
  • Mein's Style - Striking
  • Brown's Style - Grappling
  • Prediction -  Mein by KO

Lightweight - Nate Diaz vs Josh "The Punk" Thomson
  • Diaz's Style - BJJ, Boxing
  • Thomson's Style - Grappling
  • Prediction - Diaz by submission
  • Thoughts - I am surprised Thomson hasn't gotten injured in training yet, but there's still plenty of time!

Heavyweight - Daniel "DC" Cormier vs Frank Mir
  • Cormier's Style - Wrestling
  • Mir's Style - BJJ
  • Prediction - Cormier by TKO

Lightweight Title - Benson "Smooth" Henderson vs Gilbert "El Nino" Melendez
  • Henderson's Style - Grappling
  • Alternate Henderson Nicknames - Benson "And Hedges" Henderson, Benson "Bendo" Henderson, Benson "Robert Guillaume" Henderson
  • Melendez's Style - Wrestling, letting his Soul Glo
  • Prediction -Henderson by submission
  • Thoughts - Team Cesar Gracie Jiu-Jitsu (WHAT?!) is going to end up 0-4 in UFC title fights. Hilarious.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Fantastic Finishes - Henderson vs Bisping

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that's got a white belt in comedy.

Today on Fantastic Finishes, we celebrate AMERICA!

Dan "Hendo" Henderson vs Michael Bisping - UFC 100 (July 11, 2009)

Who are these guys?

Dan Henderson is a wrestler that posses a megaton warhead in his right fist known as the H-Bomb. Michael Bisping is a kickboxer that has been called out by ever fighter that's ever made the UFC roster. They spent several weeks coaching against each other on The Ultimate Fighter were Dan was charming and funny, and Bisping was contentious, smarmy, and a big dumb jerk.

What's so special about this fight?

This fight is pretty much the best knockout in the history of knockouts. To the people that watched the entire season of TUF and saw Bisping constantly complaining, and making fun of people, but unable to handle even the slightest bit of joking at his expense, it was sweet revenge.  It spawned hilarious photoshops, the best of which is this one:

Uncle Sam says BLAMMO!

What did we learn?

  • Don't circle to the left against Henderson (Bisping's corner SCREAMS this at him between rounds)

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Event Primer - TUF 17 Finale

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that's shocked a guy named "Meathead" would have fucking atrocious opinions on anything.

Preliminary Card (Facebook)

Featherweight - Justin "The American Kidd" Lawrence vs Daniel "The Pit" Pineda
  • Lawrence's Style - Striking
  • Pineda's Style - Wrestling
  • Prediction - Lawrence by KO

Featherweight - Sam Sicilia vs Maximo "Maxi" Blanco
  • Sicilia's Style - Wrestling, striking
  • Blanco's Style - Wrestling, striking, knee to the butt
  • Prediction -  Blanco by KO

Featherweight - Cole "Magrinho" Miller vs Bart "Bartimus" Palaszewski
  • Miller's Style - Submissions
  • Palaszewski's Style - Striking
  • Prediction - Palaszewski by TKO

Preliminary Card (FuelTV)

Middleweight - Clint "Headbussa" Hester vs Bristol Marunde
  • Hester's Style - Striking
  • Marunde's Style - Wrestling
  • Prediction - Hester by TKO

Middleweight - Dylan "The Villain" Andrews vs Jimmy "Crash" Quinlan
  • Andrews's Style - Wrestling, boxing
  • Quinlan's Style - Wrestling, BJJ, stories
  • Prediction - Quinlan by submission

Middleweight - Luke "The Bigslow" Barnatt vs Collin Hart
  • Barnatt's Style - Striking, tall
  • Hart's Style - Wrestling
  • Prediction -Barnatt by TKO

Middleweight - Josh Samman vs "King" Kevin Casey
  • Samman's Style - DOUBLE PUNCH
  • Casey's Style - BJJ, rapping
  • Prediction - Samman by TKO
  • Thoughts - I would prefer the meteor to win this one.

Main Card (FX)

Middleweight - Bubba "The Menace" McDaniel vs Gilbert "Jamal" Smith
  • McDaniel's Style - Losing hilariously
  • Smith's Style - Complete inability to wear shirts
  • Prediction - Smith by super destruction. Bubba is a big honkin' pile of dumb.

Heavyweight - Travis "Hapa" Browne vs Gabriel "Napao" Gonzaga
  • Browne's Style - Striking
  • Gonzaga's Style - BJJ, life tips
  • Prediction - Gonzaga by submission

Women's Bantamweight - Miesha "Cupcake" Tate vs "Alpha" Cat Zingano
  • Tate's Style - Wrestling
  • Tate's Former Nickname - Miesha "Takedown" Tate
  • Zingano's Style -BJJ
  • Zingano's Maiden Name - "Hey, Hey, Hey, It's" Cat Albert (I'm not saying divorce Mr. Zingano, but Cat Albert is such a boss name, maybe be an 'independent' married lady for a hot minute).
  • Prediction - Zingano by decision
  • Thoughts - Winner gets to do the following unenviable things: 1. Coach against Ronda Rousey in, according to Joe "DURR" Rogan, the sure to be rape-filled madhouse that is the upcoming co-ed season of TUF. 2. Fight Ronda Rousey, attempt to win the women's Bantamweight title, or at the very least, keep all limbs intact.

Middleweight TUF Finals - Uriah "Prime Time" Hall vs Kelvin Gastelum
  • Hall's Style - MurderDeathKickboxing
  • Gastelum's Style - Wrestling
  • Prediction - Gastelum by TKO
  • Thoughts - Holy cow, this was a great season of TUF, and I really like both these dudes.

Bantamweight - Urijah "The California Kid" Faber vs Scott "Young Guns" Jorgensen
  • Faber's Style - Brozilian Bro Jitsu, Thong-Bang Muay Thai
  • Jorgensen's Style - Wrestling
  • Prediction - Jorgensen by decision
  • Thoughts - If you've been to this blog before, you know what this is. TEAM ALPHA MALE

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Event Primer - UFC on Fuel: Mousasi vs Latifi

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that's hoping David Rickels is going to be in any upcoming Jurassic Park movies.

Preliminary Card (Facebook/YouTube)

Welterweight - Papy "Makambo" Abedi vs Besam Yousef
  • Abedi's Style -Grappling
  • Alternate Abedi Nickname - "I'm The" Papy Abedi
  • Yousef's Style - Grappling
  • Prediction -Abedi by KO

Middleweight - Michael Kuiper vs Tom "The Filthy Mauler" Lawlor
  • Kuiper's Style -Judo
  • Lawlor's Style - Wrestling
  • Prediction -Lawlor by decision
  • Thoughts - I hope Lawlor dresses up as the Swedish Chef for his weigh-ins or entrance.

Welterweight - Ben "Benny Blanco" Alloway vs Ryan LaFlare
  • Alloway's Style -Striking
  • LaFlare's Style -Striking
  • Prediction -Alloway by TKO
  • Thoughts - "Benny Blanco" and (Gucci Mane) LaFlare? This is gonna be a fast-paced Trapweight fight! If only LaFlare knew BRRRzilian jiu-jitsu.

Featherweight - Marcus "The Bama Beast" Brimage vs Connor "Notorious" McGregor
  • Brimage's Style -Striking, Dragon Ball Z
  • McGregor's Style - Striking
  • Prediction - Brimage by decision

Welterweight - Chris "The Kiss" Spang vs Adlan "Borz" Amagov
  • Spang's Style -Striking, smooches (His brother Andreas is the shover in the family)
  • Amagov's Style -Striking
  • Prediction -Spang by KO

Middleweight - Tor "The Hammer" Troeng vs Adam Cella
  • Troeng's Style -Striking
  • Cella's Style -Freestyle, Getting kicked in the brain
  • Prediction -Troeng by KO

Lightweight - Reza "Mad Dog" Madadi vs Michael "The Menace" Johnson
  • Madadi's Style -Grappling
  • Johnson's Style - Wrestling
  • Prediction -Johnson by decision

Main Card (FuelTV)

Featherweight - Akira Corassani vs Robbie "Problems" Peralta
  • Corassani's Style -Striking, grappling
  • Peralta's Style -Striking
  • Prediction -Peralta by KO

Featherweight - Diego "Ceara" Brandao vs Pablo "The Scarecrow" Garza
  • Brandao's Style -Muay Thai, BJJ
  • Garza's Style - Muay Thai, BJJ
  • Prediction -Garza by submission

Bantamweight - Brad "One Punch" Pickett vs Mike "The Hulk" Easton
  • Pickett's Style -Striking
  • Easton's Style -Striking
  • Prediction -Pickett by decision
  • Thoughts - Yes, Easton does not play, while Oppa Pickett Style, but seriously, I think this fight is going to be super awesome.

Heavyweight - Matt "Meathead" Mittrione vs Phil DeFries
  • Mittrione's Style - Football
  • DeFries's Style - BJJ
  • Prediction - Mittrione by KO

Lightweight - Ross "The Real Deal" Pearson vs Ryan Couture
  • Pearson's Style - Kickboxing
  • Couture's Style - BJJ, wrestling
  • Prediction - Pearson via knockout
  • Thoughts - Maybe I should grow up, but I don't know if I'll ever think of Ryan as anything other than "Randy Couture's dumb wiener kid"

Light Heavyweight - Gegard "The Dreamcatcher" Mousasi vs Ilir "The Sledgehammer" Latifi
  • Mousasi's Style -Kickboxing, BJJ
  • Latifi's Style -Grappling
  • Prediction -Mousasi by KO
  • Thoughts - Isn't Ilir a Tolkien character? Does he know Nandor "Noldor" Guelmino? Or Frodo Khasbulaev?

Monday, April 1, 2013

Rad Fights of Yesteryear - Shamrock vs Severn II

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that's simply the most lamentable dustman in existence.

UFC 9: Superfight championship - Ken Shamrock vs Dan Severn

This time on Rad Fights of Yesteryear, it is perhaps the Raddest Fight to have ever existed. Ken Shamrock and Dan Severn are two legendary competitors,and, at the time of the fight, were two highly rated fighters. Severn had won the UFC 5 and Ultimate Ultimate 95 tournaments, while Shamrock was the inaugural King of Pancrase champion and the defending UFC Superfight champion (Having defeated Dan Severn to win the belt).

Due to some last-minute rule changes that allowed the event to take place in Detroit, closed fist punches to the head and headbutts were no longer allowed (This shouldn't have been too much of a problem for Shamrock, since Pancrase also barred closed fist punches). Also, thanks to a Tito Ortiz-esque litany of training injuries, Shamrock was less than 100% going into the bout.

However, because both men were incredibly skilled mixed martial artists, what went down was one of those rare fights that is both an all-out war and an epic, highly-contested, cerebral chess match.

On this, the first day of April, please enjoy "The Detroit Dance".