Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Fighter Retrospective - Volk Han

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that's main defensive tactic is being too stupid to knock out.

This time on Fighter Retrospective, a look back at a submission-crazy Russian moon boot aficionado, Volk Han.

What's this guy's deal?

Volk Han, known to his mom as Magomedkhan Amanulayevich Gamzatkhanov (Because being born "Wolf Khan" is pretty much too awesome to fathom), is a Russian sambo practitioner, shoot wrestler and mixed martial artist that primarily plied his craft in the RINGS organization. While with Fighting Network Rings, Han teamed with noted potato-man Fedor Emeliananeko and other ovoid guys of varying hirsuteness to form Team Russia to do battle against the rest of the world.

While in RINGS, Han won the Mega Battle Tournament (It's a major award!) twice, and made the semi-finals twice more in a four-year span. Unfortunately, that was in the hazy years where RINGS was probably more pro wrestling than mixed martial arts, but as we all know, nobody in Japanese pro wrestling is aware that anything is supposed to be fake (And thus, everyone just beats each other into various stages of near-death), so I still hold it to be a significant accomplishment.

What the hey? I thought this was a (bad) MMA blog, and this guy's main accomplishments were in PRO WRESTLING?!

Han did compete in MMA when RINGS transitioned over, but he was already in his late 30s at the time, so he didn't have the kind of smash success that a time-displaced 20 year old Volk Han probably would have had. He still had a fairly respectable record, including two wins over Japanese legend Kiyoshi Tamura (A one-time Mega Battle Tournament winner himself).

Han essentially retired in 2001, at the age of 40, but his official final match came more than a decade later, against fellow submission grappling ace, Masakatsu Funaki (I am totally going to write up a retrospective on him, hopefully within the decade). As befitting the nature of the two men involved, and the fact that it was probably a little worked (My face is going to be both red and covered with egg when it turns out that the entirety of MMA has been worked from jump street), the contest ended in a draw.

That being said, there's still some pretty good showcases of Han's grappling skills what is probably entirely legitimate competition. For example, his win over freestyle wrestling champion (NCAA Division II does too count!), Branden Lee Hinkle, as seen above.

Despite me mentally questioning the veracity of every scrap of video footage of Han online, he's still undoubtedly a very good grappler, and that's enough for me to praise him. Additionally, he helped break open sambo* to mixed martial arts, and we all reap the benefits of that with noted heroes of this blog, Rustam Khabliov, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Frodo Khasbulaev, Shahbulat Shamhalaev, and Alexander Shlemenko.

* - Sambo, as translated from the original Cyrillic, means "Come, friend, let us practice our judo. But, wait, what is this? The wolves have eaten the pantaloons of our judo pajamas! Fret not, we must grapple anyway".

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Technique Appreciation Station - Chin-in-eye submission

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that doesn't actually talk about leg kick TKOs (Whoops!).

This time on TAS we look back to the ye olden timey days of mixed martial arts where rules were scarce. In the early days of MMA (And also Vale Tudo), wrestlers basicaly had three paths to victory:

  1. Headbutts - get atop a man and smash his face into a jelly with your own noggin
  2. Knees to the head - get atop a man, move to north/south position, and smash his brain to paste with knees
  3. Chin in eye submission - get atop a man and jam your jawbone into his eyesocket until the dude gives the hell up

Before people wised up and outlawed this crazy-ass 'technique', there were a few notable instances of its effectiveness.

"The Smashing Machine" Mark Kerr submitted Dan Bobish to win the finals of the UFC 14 Heavyweight tournament.

Chin in eye wizard Chirs Haseman has two victories by that 'hold', one of which is over "The King of Rock and Rumble" Elvis Sinosic.

I fully appreciate the effectiveness of the submission, but something that directly targets the eyes is a little too much in my book. I'm glad it's illegal, and now there is nothing in all of MMA that can threaten a fighter's vision (Except everything else, like getting punched in the eye, or glove seams cutting the eyelids, or "accidental" eye pokes, or, if you're Mike Winklejohn, one of your students cutting your eyeball with his toenail)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Bellator Summer Series Preview

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that takes medical advice from Dan Quinn.

Bellator finally returns with its summer series, and I am so very happy. Four-man tournaments in Bantamweight, Light Heavyweight, and Heavyweight will take place, in addition to some title defenses.

Bantamweight Tournament

A tournament has been announced for the 135 pounders, but no participants have been officially named. Oh, Bellator, you crazy little goofball.

Light Heavyweight Tournament

The tournament with the most name recognition, as it features Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal, "Silverback" Seth Petruzelli (Known to some as the "Kimbo Killer") and apparent MMA legend, Renato "Babalu" Sobral. Also, whatever the hell a Jacob Noe is. I fully expect the winner of this tournament to beat Atilla Vegh.

Heavyweight Tournament

The heavyweight tournament is thin on big name talent, and it's uncertain on how good the fighers are. Vinicius Queiroz had his UFC run stopped before it started, getting submitted by Rob "It's Already Been" Broughton, while Richard Hale is partly known for getting the second inverted triangle in Bellator history and also for getting knocked out by the comparably tinier Christian M'Pumbu in the Season Four Light Heavyweight tournament finals/championship fight. Ron Sparks, like Queiroz, has a victory over Mark Holota, but he hasn't fought in two years and is 38. Vitaly Minakov is Russian, which is a boon in Bellator, but he's not Dagestani, which isn't as good. He's also undefeated, an accomplished sambist/judoka, and has gotten called "Fedor's Prototype", so he'll probably get upset in the first round in hilarious fashion.

Bellator 96

The entire first round of both the Heavyweight and Light Heavyweight tournaments begin, with Lawal vs Petruzelli, Noe vs Sobral, Queiroz vs Hale, and Sparks vs Minakov. Also, War Machine makes his Bellator debut (Unless he gets arrested again between now and Wednesday) against the totally real person called Blas Avena.

Bellator 97

This card is probably going to be super rad since it features a Welterweight title defense from "Funky" Ben Askren, taking on Andrey Koreshkov. Also slated is Michael Chandler making a Lightweight defense against David "Caveman" Rickels, and a Featherweight fight betwixt Patricio "Pitbull" Freire and Rob Emerson. I fully expect both champions to successfully retain, though I would love to see Rickels win the belt for his cromagnon people. Also, Douglas Lima and Ben Saunders will finally face each other in the Welterweight finals from Season Seven.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

The Incredible Smugness of Frank Mir - A Photo Essay

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that's stupider than Nick Diaz Promotions Presents: WAR MMA.


Holy cow, look at Francisco Santos Mir III, being the absolute smuggest motherfucker in the entire history of the universe's existence.


That is a man that is always impressed with his own performance, and is in constant doubt of your abilities.


This is a man what has a flaming rhinoceros samurai riding a motorcycle tattooed across his back.


A man that has named his own children, the spawn of his loins, Kage and Ronin Maximus Mir.

GIF via

He is a man that has reached the towering heights of submitting Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, and plummeted to the depressing lows of getting knocked out by Marcio Cruz and Ian Freeman (The latter of which happened while Mir was attempting to finish a leglock, which is the most hilarious outcome).

GIF via

Frank's smugness is so severe that he even makes his smug face during fights he is in the process of losing. I wonder if it's actually a brain disease he has instead of just an inflated sense of self worth (Though, I guess those are pretty similar).

Event primer - UFC 161

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that's less engaging than Brandon Schaub at Metamoris II.

Prelims (Facebook/YouTube)

Bantamweight - Yves "Tiger" Jabouin vs Dustin "The Disciple" Pague
  • Jabouin's Style - Kickboxing
  • Pague's Style - Striking, Grappling
  • Prediction - Pague by submission
  • Thoughts - Any time Pague uses a rear naked choke, it is a subtle shout out to Brutus Beefcake's sleeper hold, which is the most well-known iteration of The Disciple.

Lightweight - Mitch "Danger Zone" Clarke vs John "The One" Maguire
  • Clarke's Style -Striking
  • Maguire's Style - Gypsy Jiu-Jitsu
  • Prediction -Maguire by submission

Prelims (FX)

Bantamweight - Roland "Stunning" Delorme vs Edwin "El Feroz" Figueroa
  • Delorme's Style - Grappling
  • Figueroa's Style - Striking
  • Prediction - Delorme by submission

Welterweight - Sean "The Punisher" Pierson vs Kenny Robertson
  • Pierson's Style - BJJ, striking
  • Robertson's Style - Wrestling
  • Prediction - Robertson by submission (Weird kneebar)

Lightweight - Sam "Hands of Stone" Stout vs "The" James Krause
  • Stout's Style - Kickboxing
  • Krause's Style - Grappling
  • Prediction - Krause by decision
  • Thoughts - I don't know what I'm more shocked by, that Stout is still fighting, or that he's not fighting Spencer Fisher again.

Welterweight - Jake Shields vs Tyron "T-Wood" Woodley

Main Card (PPV)

Heavyweight - Pat "Hype or Die" Barry vs Shawn "The Savage" Jordan

Women's Bantamweight - Alexis "Ally-Gator" Davis vs Rosi "The Surgeon" Sexton

Light Heavyweight - Ryan "Big Deal" Jimmo vs Igor "The Duke" Pokrajac
  • Jimmo's Style - Striking
  • Pokrajac's Style - Wrestling, boxing
  • Prediction - Jimmo by decision

Heavyweight - Roy "Big Country" Nelson vs Stipe Miocic
  • Nelson's Style - Boxing, BJJ
  • Miocic's Style - Wrestling, striking, baseball
  • Prediction - Nelson by KO

Light Heavyweight - Dan "Hendo" Henderson vs "Suga" Rashad Evans
  • Henderson's Style - Big Right Hand, wrestling
  • Alternate Henderson Nicknames - "Decision" Dan Henderson, "Dangerous" Dan Henderson, Dan "Hollywood" Henderson, Dan "Big Right Ha"-nderson
  • Evans's Style - Wrestling, boxing
  • Prediction - Henderson by KO
  • Thoughts -Reminder that if you don't like Dan Henderson, you don't like America.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Event Primer - World Series of Fighting 3

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that's terrified to stand and bang with Shinya Aoki.

Preliminary Card (

Lightweight - Brenson Hansen vs Josh Montalvo
  • Hansen's Style -Freestyle
  • Montalvo's Style - Freestyle
  • Prediction - Hansen by decision
  • Thoughts - "Brenson Hansen" sounds like the Dollar Store-version of Benson Henderson.
Bantamweight - Carson "Little Juggernaut" Beebe vs Joe Murphy
  • Beebe's Style - Grappling
  • Murphy's Style - Grapling
  • Prediction -Murphy by submission
  • Thoughts - I've never been able to determine which of the Beebe brothers, Carson or Chase are the worst (All MMA siblings are split between good and awful fighters) because both are pretty crappy.
Featherweight - Jeff Smith vs Jerrod Sanders
  • Smith's Style - Grappling
  • Sanders's Style - Grappling
  • Prediction - Sanders by submission

Middleweight - Kendrick "Big Problem" Miree vs Krasimi "The Wrestler" Mladenov
  • Miree's Style -Grappling
  • Mladenov's Style - Wrestling
  • Prediction -  Mladenov by decision

Lightweight - John "Guns" Gunderson vs Dan "The Upgrade" Lauzon
  • Gunderson's Style - BJJ
  • Lauzon's Style - BJJ
  • Prediction - Gunderson by submission
  • Thoughts - In reference to the Beebe fight, Dan Lauzon is most assuredly the crappier of the two Lauzon brothers.

Main Card (NBC Sports)

Lightweight - Jacob "Dr. Feelgood" Volkmann vs Lyle "Fancy Pants" Beerbohm
  • Volkmann's Style - Wrestling, complaining about OBAMA
  • Beerbohm's Style - Grappling, meth
  • Prediction - Beerbohm by submission
  • Thoughts - If Volkmann wins, he'll be fine saying whatever he wants, since the Secret Service won't be watching World Series of Fighting.

Lightweight - Brian "The Bandit" Cobb vs Justin Gaethje
  • Cobb's Style -Grappling
  • Gaethje's Style - Striking
  • Prediction -Gaethje by TKO

Welterweight - Steve Carl vs Tyson "The Man Of" Steele
  • Carl's Style - Grappling, Army combatives
  • Steele's Style - Grappling
  • Prediction -Steele by decision

Welterweight - Jon Fitch vs Josh "The People's Warrior" Burkman
  • Fitch's Style - Wrestling, Fitching, temporal anomalies
  • Burkman's Stylel - American Whu-Hit-U
  • Prediction - Fitch by decision
  • Thoughts - Due to Fitch's status as being unstuck in time, he might be fighting Burkman for the first time when he goes into the cage on Saturday.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Event Primer: UFC on Fuel - Nogueira vs Werdum

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that's more profitable than Nick Diaz's WAR MMA.

Prelim Card (Facebook/YouTube)

Middleweight - Antonio Braga Neto vs Anthony "Lionheart" Smith
Neto's Style - BJJ
Smith's Style - Striking, grappling
Prediction - Neto by submission

Middleweight - Caio "Hellboy" Magalhaes vs Karlos "The Terminator" Vemola
Magalhaes's Style - BJJ, Muay Thai
Vemola's Style - Striking, grappling
Prediction - Vemola by KO

Featherweight - Rodrigo Damm vs Mizuto "Pugnus" Hirota
Damm's Style - BJJ, wrestling
Hirota's Style - Boxing, judo, sumo
Prediction - Hirota by decision
Thoughts - King Pug is a pretty rad dude, I hope he doesn't lose and get cut.

Welterweight - Ildemar "Marajo" Alcantara vs Leandro "Buscape" Silva
Alcantara's Style - BJJ, Muay Thai
Silva's Style -BJJ
Prediction - Alcantara by submission

Featherweight - Godofredo "Pepey" Castro vs Felipe "Sertanejo" Arantes
Castro's Style - BJJ
Arantes's Style - Muay Thai, BJJ
Prediction - Castro by submission

Middleweight - Ronny Markes vs Derek Brunson
Markes's Style -Wrestling
Brunson's Style - Wrestling
Prediction - Brunson by decision

Bantamweight - Raphael Assuncao vs Vaughan Lee
Assuncao's Style - BJJ, Muay Thai
Lee's Style -Grappling
Prediction - Assuncao by submission

Main Card (FuelTV)

Featherweight - Rony "Jason" Bezerra vs Mike "The Warrior" Wilkinson
Bezerra's Style - BJJ, Muay Thai
Wilkinson's Style -Boxing, wrestling
Prediction - Bezerra by TKO

Welterweight - Erick "Indio" Silva vs Jason "The Kansas City Bandit" High
Silva's Style - Wrestling, BJJ
High's Style - BJJ
Prediction - High by decision

Middleweight - Daniel Sarafian vs Eddie Mendez
Sarafian's Style - BJJ
Mendez's Style -Boxing, wrestling
Prediction - Sarafian by submission

Light Heavyweight - Thiago Silva vs Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante
Silva's Style - Muay Thai, BJJ
Cavalcante's Style - Muay Thai, BJJ
Prediction - Cavalcante by KO
Thoughts - If Brazil had an athletic commission to do drug testing instead of UFC administering things in-house, this fight would be the one most likely to have the results "accidentally" go missing.

Welterweight - William "Patolino" Macario vs Leonardo Santos
Macario's Style - Muay Thai
Santos's Style - BJJ
Prediction - Macario by KO
Thoughts - Macario has a victory over someone (Or thing) named 'Gabriel Monkey' on his record. That's the best.

Heavyweight - Antonio Rodrigo "Minotauro" Nogueira vs Fabricio "Vai Cavalo" Werdum
Nogueira's Style - BJJ, boxing
Werdum's Style - BJJ, trolling
Prediction - Nogueira by submission
Thoughts - I like "Go Horse", but if he hurts Big Nog, I will find him and sob-scream at him for like an hour.