Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Rad Fights of Yesteryear - Frye vs Takayama

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that’s less entertaining than Shamrock vs. Severn II.

Who Are These Jerks?

Don Frye is a propaganda cartoon of America brought to life, born from the union of a football and an apple pie, raised by a bald eagle to fight everything with his fists of fury and a bitchin’ mustache.

Yoshihiro Takayama is a dyed blond pro wrestler that decided to give real fighting a try, to hilariously disastrous results (Oops, guess I should have left if a mystery if the guy who only knows fake fighting is capable of real fighting).

Why Should I Care About This Dumb Thing?
Prior to the fight starting, Frye and Takayama have a pretty intense stare down during the referee’s instructions that I’m chalking up to Don Frye being really awesome.  Takayama’s no slouch, though; he towers over Frye and does his best at mean mugging, but ultimately loses due to his lack of a boss mustache.

The fight is nothing more than a brawl, a wild, beautiful, amazing brawl.  Frye and Takayama trade punches early and often before both men grab a hold of single collar clinches.  This allows each man the opportunity to repeatedly punch his opponent in the face while offering no chance of defense.

Things are now AWESOME!  The pace slows down to prevent both men’s punching hands from igniting, and they move to body clinches.  Now knees are getting thrown in addition to face punches.  Takayama throws Frye down, but Don’s back to his feet pretty quickly, only taking a knee to the head on his way back up.  We’re back to single collar ties, or AWESOME TIMES, then body clinches, and this continues back and forth until a brief lull allows the referee to call for a break.  Don gets the mouthpiece he dropped returned to him, and Takayama gets his busted up face checked out by the ring doctor.  Nothing seems to be too dangerous, so the fight continues, and they’re back to wild brawling.  The body clinches return, and Takayama tries for another takedown, but just ends up pulling Frye into mount.  Don unloads some ground and pound, and the referee has seen enough (Takayama’s probably had enough, too), ending the fight.  Frye wins by first round TKO, while Takayama must deal with his slow transformation into a Lumpy Space person (Oh my Glob, face punches are lame!)

What Did We Learn?

  • Striking defense is for idiot babies
  • Only face punchings are important, this was Takayama’s downfall, as he attempted body shots and knees far too often
  • The Mustache Triumphs the Blond Dye-Job
  • Pro wrestling is a poor substitute for actual fighting skills