Sorry for the hiatus, I am a dumb, lazy jerk! I'm going to try and recap as much of the stuff I missed from last week's nonexistent Dumb MMA Stuff, and also include the Dumb MMA Stuff that happened this week! Let's get to it.
Fights - Oh, man, too many fights, all kinds of crazy, fun fights happened!
UFC on Fuel: Struve vs. Miocic - UFC insists on airing fights on Fuel, a fake, made up channel that only six people on the planet get, and half of them are sasquatches. The fights were good, though!
Robbie Peralta's a Busy Man
Peralta made very short work of Jason Young, finishing the fight in 23 seconds with a flurry of punches. Man I love tinyweight fights.
Peralta made very short work of Jason Young, finishing the fight in 23 seconds with a flurry of punches. Man I love tinyweight fights.
Check out a bunch more fight recaps after the break!
Nelson Possibly "Gunnaring" For Title Shot? (Ugh, that was awful)
Gunnar Nelson made his Octagon debut, taking on DaMarques Johnson, and it didn't take the former villain of Mighty Ducks 2 (Yes, I know that was Gunnar Stahl, shut up) to get rid of "Darkness", finishing the fight with a rear naked choke in round one. This being his third loss in a row, plus by missing weight for what was already a Catchweight bought, Johnson was released. The UFC is now much less awesome fade-ier.
Manuwa is Good at Face Attacks
Jimi Manuwa beat up Kyle Kingsbury for two rounds before the ringside doctor called a stop after Kingsbury's left eye had swollen shut.
Like, he beat him up a lot.
Here's the gross eyeball.
Wiman Subs Sass? Wiman Subs Sass
In a shocking turn of events, not only did Paul Sass actually lose a fight, but it was by submission! I guess it's a good thing it wasn't by heel hook or triangle, otherwise the universe would have been ripped apart. Or I'd just file it with the other examples of fighters getting "Royce'd by their own petard". At least it was a fun, entertaining grapple fight, so that's cool.
Pickett Wins, Goes Gangnam
Brad "One Punch" Pickett lived up to his nickname, knocking out Yves Jabouin with a single uppercut during their very fun fight.
Then he decided to saddle up a horsey and go Gangnam Style, because why not? Better than Pat Barry planking in the middle of the Octagon (Planned, intentional planking, not a funny joke for getting knocked out).
Tall Beats Baseball
Stefan Struve had a fun fight with "Michael" Stipe Miocic, and the giant Dutchman managed to withstand some good shots to his chin. Struve finally utilized his crazy long reach (Which is slightly shorter than Jon Jones, who is seven inches shorter than Struve), hit Miocic with some uppercuts and finished the fight in the second round.
UFC on FX: Browne vs. Silva - The FX card benefited from being on a channel that humans actually get, but was lacking in celebratory dancing.
Nunes Pummels Palaszewski
Nunes Pummels Palaszewski
Diego Nunes did not like Bart Palaszewski's hair because he punched Bart's head a lot.
To Bart's credit, he kept fighting and lasted the entire three rounds, but he did lose a unanimous decision.
Pierce's Comeback
Mike Pierce got hurt early against Aaron Simpson, but managed to survive the danger and make it through to the second round
That's when Pierce decided to hurt Simpson back, and worse than what Simpson did to him, ending things with a knockout.
Johnson's Comeback (Wait, what?)
I guess Michael Johnson and Danny Castillo got the same script that was handed to Pierce and Simpson, because Castillo rocked Johnson in the first round, and had a tight arm triangle choke, but was unable to finish.
Johnson recovered and knocked out Castillo in the second.
Dodson, We've Got Dodson Here!
John Dodson fought Jussier da Silva, and boy howdy is Dodson quick.
Dodson dropped da Silva twice in the second round, and managed to finish things off with ground and pound with under 30 seconds left in the round.
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| Gif by https://twitter.com/ZProphet_MMA |
Then, perhaps the best part of a Dodson victory, came the FLIPZ! The only thing missing from that GIF is his high-pitched chittering laughter.
Silva Punches Hard
In the main event, Travis Browne was dumb and threw all kinds of crazy kicks like he's not 6'7" and 250 pounds. He tore up his knee on the first kick, but kept throwing them, until Antonio Silva did a massive punching to Browne's face.
Bellator - Bellator 74 and 75 took place, and there were some cool moments, and some HORRIFYING ones. Yay!
Bellator 74 - Welterweight tournament bouts, let's see who's going to get to face Ben Askren and have a blond afro jammed up their nose for 25 minutes!
Michail Tsarev choked out Tim Welch to advance to the Welterweight tournament semi-finals
Marius Zaromskis landed a nice spinning backfist on Nordine Taleb (Sure, I'll pretend that's a person's name) en route to a unanimous decision.
Bellator 75 - This was all Heavyweight tournament fights, but when you get to mid-level UFC Heavyweights and lower, they're (un)affectionately known as Trashweights.
Eric Prindle's Horrible Revenge
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| Thiago Santos fires the first salvo last year |
A bit of back story. In Bellator season 5's Heavyweight tournament final last year, Thiago Santos accidentally kicked Eric Prindle in the nuts and butthole. Prindle was unable to continue, and the fight was ruled a no-contest. The rematch was going to take place in March to determine the tournament champion, but Santos never made weight, so Prindle was declared the season 5 winner. After a loss to Heavyweight champion, Cole Konrad (Who has since retired to be a dairy futures trader, seriously), Prindle entered the season 7 Heavyweight tournament. He and Santos were matched up again, to hopefully, finally resolve their saga.
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| Prindle retaliates in true asshole fashion |
Unfortunately, Prindle delivered a pelvis-shattering axe kick to Santos's groin, getting himself disqualified. Go back and take a look at that last sentence. HE BROKE SANTOS'S PELVIS!
One FC: Rise of Kings - One FC's latest event took place recently, and there were some good finishes, so let's take a look!
Soccer Kick!
Here's Gianna Subba killing Bruce Loh with a soccer kick. I love soccer kicks, they're super rad!
Manhoef Wins, Is Scary
Melvin Manhoef punches heads super hard. I'll detail how hard in a future post, but rest assured, it's crazy super hard.
Here he is knocking out Ryo Kawamura in the first round.
Kim Wins!
Soo Chul Kim knocked out Leandro Issa 15 seconds into round two of their Bantamweight title fight. Congratulations to Kim for the victory and the new championship!
Boku Beats Moreira
Kotetsu Boku knocked out Zorobabel Moreira in round three of their Lightweight title fight after taking a vicious beating in round two.
In fact, here's a video of the full fight so you can see how much damage Boku took.
Full Event Wrap-up
Here's a video that covers highlights of all the fights, so you should watch that, too. Take warning that Jens Pulver's testicles get viciously attacked.
Invicta FC 3 - Invicta is an all women's MMA organization, and it is really awesome. I'm not going to pick and choose for you, just go watch all the fights from Invicta 3, and then catch up on Invicta 2 and 1.
One FC: Rise of Kings - One FC's latest event took place recently, and there were some good finishes, so let's take a look!
Soccer Kick!
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| Gif by https://twitter.com/ZProphet_MMA |
Here's Gianna Subba killing Bruce Loh with a soccer kick. I love soccer kicks, they're super rad!
Manhoef Wins, Is Scary
Melvin Manhoef punches heads super hard. I'll detail how hard in a future post, but rest assured, it's crazy super hard.
Here he is knocking out Ryo Kawamura in the first round.
Kim Wins!
Soo Chul Kim knocked out Leandro Issa 15 seconds into round two of their Bantamweight title fight. Congratulations to Kim for the victory and the new championship!
Boku Beats Moreira
Kotetsu Boku knocked out Zorobabel Moreira in round three of their Lightweight title fight after taking a vicious beating in round two.
In fact, here's a video of the full fight so you can see how much damage Boku took.
Full Event Wrap-up
Here's a video that covers highlights of all the fights, so you should watch that, too. Take warning that Jens Pulver's testicles get viciously attacked.
Invicta FC 3 - Invicta is an all women's MMA organization, and it is really awesome. I'm not going to pick and choose for you, just go watch all the fights from Invicta 3, and then catch up on Invicta 2 and 1.
Grab-Bag - All the fights lower than Bellator's B-League, usually with the best chance of hilarity.
Jiu-Jitsu Does Not Work
Here is a fight between Josiah Johnson and Chance Wilson. Wilson shoots in for a takedown immediately, and after a bit of a struggle, succeeds in getting the fight to the mat. Johnson starts throwing up submission attempts, though, locking in a triangle choke, and I'll be honest, it looks pretty tight. Chance Wilson doesn't seem to think so, though, as he just bashes Johnson with hammer fists until Johnson gets knocked out.
The Heat is On
Karo Parisyan has had a very storied past. He's an Armenian judoka, because all Armenian fighters are judokas, and after yet another failed stint in the UFC, Karo is fighting guys with much cooler names (TIGER BONDS, THE ONLY FINANCIAL INSTRUMENT THAT CAN EVISCERATE YOU!) in what looks like a Wal-Mart parking lot. Karo staggers TIGER BONDS (I am seriously incapable of not all-capsing that awesome name) early, lands two rad judo throws, then finishes the fight with an armbar. Hopefully Karo can keep up his winning ways, keep himself clean and get back to the big leagues (Or at least a Big Lots parking lot).
Alexei Roberts - Mortal Kombat Fighter
Here's Alexei "Boom" Roberts defending his Welterweight title against Andy Kerr in England's Shock n Awe promotion. There are only two things to take note of in this fight:
Let's go to Alaska, where there is no athletic commission to regulate who can or cannot fight! We've got 62 year old Wayne Smallwood taking on decidedly younger Weeg Hewson (I guess that's a name?). Wayne displays "old man strength" and knocks out Weeg with a spinning backfist because MMA is hilarious.
Koppu Kick!
Here's a random fight from Russia that isn't so much a fight as it is just a nice koppu kick knockout. It also features the referee being kind of a dick by lifting the knocked out guy onto unsteady legs to I guess get him out of the ring quicker. Can't give a guy time to recover or anything!
Alexei Roberts - Mortal Kombat Fighter
Here's Alexei "Boom" Roberts defending his Welterweight title against Andy Kerr in England's Shock n Awe promotion. There are only two things to take note of in this fight:
- Roberts has a tattoo of the Mortal Kombat logo on his chest
- Roberts obliterates Kerr in like 15 seconds
Let's go to Alaska, where there is no athletic commission to regulate who can or cannot fight! We've got 62 year old Wayne Smallwood taking on decidedly younger Weeg Hewson (I guess that's a name?). Wayne displays "old man strength" and knocks out Weeg with a spinning backfist because MMA is hilarious.
Koppu Kick!
Here's a random fight from Russia that isn't so much a fight as it is just a nice koppu kick knockout. It also features the referee being kind of a dick by lifting the knocked out guy onto unsteady legs to I guess get him out of the ring quicker. Can't give a guy time to recover or anything!
News
Luke Rockhold injured, Strikeforce probably dead soon? MMA is going to be the first sport to die off not because of waning fan interest, but because there are no more athletes to actually participate in the sport. Luke Rockhold was set to defend his Middleweight title against Lorenz Larkin next month, but is out with a wrist injury. That particular Srikeforce card previously had its co-main event of Daniel Cormier versus Frank Mir fall apart after Mir got injured. Last month, an entire Strikeforce card was canceled when Gilbert Melendez got hurt and Showtime didn't want to put on the event without a title bout. With this injury coming a month before, though, there should be time to scramble and find some replacement fighters, that is, if Showtime cares about Strikeforce anymore.
What is going on with Jason Miller?
Here's Jason "Mayhem" Miller on Ariel Helwani's MMA Hour to discuss his role in the new movie "Here Comes the Boom". Except Miller isn't Miller, but his character in the film, "Lucky Patrick". I'm not sure if it's just Miller being goofy and Helwani was too dumb to play along, or if Miller is actually crazy. Either way, it's a super awkward 15 minutes.
Politics and Sports? Well, I Never!
Here's a clip of Jens Pulver and his younger brother discussing the state of politics today. Not too much of a shock that the guy who doesn't get punched for a living is far more articulate (I'm not saying I agree or disagree with the guy, I'm just saying he's a lot easier to understand than poor Jens).
I could possibly scrounge a few more random clips, or fights to jam into this post, but I think it's long enough. I'll try to get a primer for UFC 153 up by Friday, or I'll at least put up videos and GIFs of Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva doing cool things.
What is going on with Jason Miller?
Here's Jason "Mayhem" Miller on Ariel Helwani's MMA Hour to discuss his role in the new movie "Here Comes the Boom". Except Miller isn't Miller, but his character in the film, "Lucky Patrick". I'm not sure if it's just Miller being goofy and Helwani was too dumb to play along, or if Miller is actually crazy. Either way, it's a super awkward 15 minutes.
Politics and Sports? Well, I Never!
Here's a clip of Jens Pulver and his younger brother discussing the state of politics today. Not too much of a shock that the guy who doesn't get punched for a living is far more articulate (I'm not saying I agree or disagree with the guy, I'm just saying he's a lot easier to understand than poor Jens).
I could possibly scrounge a few more random clips, or fights to jam into this post, but I think it's long enough. I'll try to get a primer for UFC 153 up by Friday, or I'll at least put up videos and GIFs of Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva doing cool things.
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