Thursday, April 25, 2013

Event Primer: UFC 159 - Jones vs Sonnen

Welcome to Leg Kick TKO, a MMA blog that has a mauve belt in Ameri-Do-Te but no slacks that match.
Preliminary Fights (Facebook/YouTube)
Featherweight - Steven "Miller Killer" Siler vs Kurt Holobaugh
  • Siler's Style - Submissions
  • Holobaugh's Style -Striking
  • Alternate Holobaugh Nickname - Kurt "Ain't No" Holobaugh "Girl"
  • Prediction -Siler by submission
Welterweight - Nick "The Jersey Devil" Catone vs James Head
  • Catone's Style - Wrestling, BJJ
  • Head's Style - Striking, BJJ
  • Prediction - Catone by decision
Featherweight - Leonard "Bad Boy" Garcia vs Cody "AK Kid" McKenzie
  • Garcia's Style - Brawling, clubbering, decision theft
  • McKenzie's Style - McKenzietine
  • Prediction - McKenzie by McKenzietine
  • Thoughts - Shit's gonna get real!
Preliminary Fights (FX)
Lightweight - Rustam "Tiger" Khabilov vs Yancy "Frisson" Medeiros
  • Khabilov's Style - Suplex
  • Alternate Khabilov Nickname - Rustam "Hobby Lobby" Khabilov
  • Medeiros's Style - Striking, wrestling
  • Prediction - Khabilov by suplex-related KO
Women's Bantamweight - Sara McMann vs Sheila "The German Tank" Gaff
  • McMann's Style - Wrestling
  • Gaff's Style - Striking
  • Prediction - McMann by decision
  • Thoughts - Holy cow, Sara McMann is friggin SHREDDED
Light Heavyweight - Gian Villante vs Ovince "OSP" St. Preux
  • Villante's Style - Football, wrestling
  • Unofficial Villante Nickname - Gian "John" Villante
  • St. Preux's Style - Football, wrestling
  • Prediction - St. Preux by KO
  • Thoughts - Strikeforce vs Strikeforce match-up! Hofstra football vs Tennessee football match-up! The storylines run deep on this fight! Also, I hope St. Preux wins and then takes another fight in two weeks and then again two weeks after that, like he did towards the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011, because that was the best OSP.
Bantamweight - "Brutal" Johnny Bedford vs Bryan "Kid Lightning" Caraway
  • Bedford's Style - Wrestling, BJJ
  • Caraway's Style - Cruising, having a more famous and better fighter for a girlfriend, threatening to beat up his girlfriend's opponents (Oh, wait, this is the "Fighting Style" section, not "Reasons to laugh at Bryan Caraway" section).
  • Prediction - Bedford by KO
Main Card (PPV)
Lightweight - Jim Miller vs Pat "Bam Bam" Healy
  • Miller's Style - Grappling
  • Healy's Style - Grappling
  • Prediction - Miller by submission
  • Thoughts - Holy rigatoni, this fight is going to be nutso good (I hope)!
Light Heavyweight - Vinny "Pezao" Magalhaes vs Phil "Mr. Wonderful" Davis
  • Magalhaes's Style - BJJ
  • Davis's Style - Wrestling, grappling
  • Alternate Davis Nicknames - Phil "Body Triangle" Davis; Phil "Have I Told You My Nickname Comes From My Missing Or Stolen College Cat?" Davis
  • Prediction - Davis by decision
  • Thoughts - Poor Phil Davis, being partially associated with unfortunate people or entities. First the dude is a Penn State alumnus, and then he's a Lloyd Irvin student.
Heavyweight - Roy "Big Country" Nelson vs Chieck Kongo
  • Nelson's Style - Boxing, BJJ, incredible intestinal fortitude (Also known as havin' tons o' guts)
  • Kongo's Style - Savate
  • Alternate Kongo Nickname - "Cup" Chieck Kongo
  • Prediction - Nelson by KO
  • Thoughts - They say styles make fights, and there isn't a better juxtaposition in body styles than this fight.
Middleweight - Michael "The Count" Bisping vs Alan "The Talent" Belcher
  • Bisping's Style - Kickboxing, British wrestling
  • Alternate Bisping Nicknames - Michael "The Count, Minus the O" Bisping
  • Belcher's Style - Muay Thai, BJJ
  • Prediction - Belcher by TKO
  • Thoughts - These two gents either for reals don't like each other, or are cleaning up in the wolf ticket department.
Light Heavyweight Title - Jon "Bones" Jones vs "The American Gangster" Chael P. Sonnen
  • Jones's Style - Wrestling, striking (poles)
  • Alternate Jones Nicknames - Jon "Snitchster Christian" Jones, Jon "Snowball King" Jones
  • Sonnen's Style - Wrestling, fraud
  • Prediction - Jones by TKO
  • Fantasty-Land Prediction - Chael P. Sonnen by submission (Omoplata)
  • Thoughts - I like Sonnen, both as a bloviating so-and-so, and also as a head down, driving forward fighter, but I think Jones is just too good to get wrestled upon for twenty-five minutes, which I see as Chael's only avenue for victory. Sorry, Chael, but you're pretty great at analysis, and hopefully soon, commentary.